Eight Things to Remember to Help You Heal and Maintain Your Relationship

Master Healer Bama Kim offers relationship wisdom to help you rekindle and nurture your connection with your partner.

A Couple hugging & kissing at Honor’s Haven Retreat
  1. Love evolves over time. Tao tells us that everything changes. Nothing lasts forever. If you accept this truth, you’ll save yourself from a great deal of fear, anger, and sadness.
  2. If you feel your love has changed, it's time to prepare for its next phase. I recommend that you take time to recharge and reflect on preparing for a new love story while taking a short break after the first phase of love. If possible, get away from where you live, and reconnect with nature. Consider taking a healing retreat together or by yourself. You deserve it. Take time to say to yourself, "Congratulations for coming this far."
  3. The next phase of love does not mean you need to change partners. It is an invitation to think more about the existing relationship and what attitudes, expectations and perspectives should be adjusted as you enter the next step.
  4. If you’ve had painful relationships or loneliness in the past, hold onto the wisdom you’ve gained and let go of the pain. You are now a stronger, more mature and better person, and you are more ready for a precious relationship.
  5. You must be a full soul, complete without a partner. Your partner must be a full soul and complete without you. Two incomplete souls do not fill each other. They ask the impossible of each other, leading to obsession and disappointment. Be a complete soul first.
  6. It's important to have a partner, but it's also healthy to say goodbye when you need to. You will meet other people with whom you can connect more fully, now that you have learned lessons about yourself from this relationship. It is like going to the next grade after graduating from elementary school.
  7. The person you are currently with is important. Past relationships exist to meet present people, so don't dwell too much on the past. You may have met the person you are with now more than a million times in past lives and are meant to be with each other at the present time. Cherish all the people around you now: lover, family, and friends. You were born at this time because you are precious and the world needs you now. Treat all those around you as precious, too. 
  8. Have courage and love yourself. Heal your inner child who is hurt and afraid of being rejected. Don't forget that marriage and love relationships are between two adults who carry their inner children within them. When they heal their inner children and they feel safe and grown-up, they will not harm their current relationship with past inner child wounds.